The empty house

I am still very numb. Not really sure what to think, but I have to write to get it out of my brain. Normally I would share this with everyone on my FB page, but that would cause a lot of hurt.

The situation is that my wife(V) is leaving me tomorrow. We separated in August of 2010, but it was short-lived as she lost her job in late September and moved back in, bringing back my 12 year old son(Z), and 20 year old step daughter(K). Since June though, I have been paying all the bills except the cell phone.

The boy and I get along well, but not so much with the adult daughter. She does not work and has never had a job. She cut so many classes in the last 2 semesters at the local community college they made her sit out another semester, and then she did not bother to enroll. So instead she sits around and does basically nothing but make messes, eat anything in sight, and when I call her on it she blows me off. It's truly a misery for me. The deal was she could stay if she kept the kitchen and her Bedroom clean. Well, neither has really happened. For a time, during last summer she did a pretty good job of it, when her mom was not there. but once mom came back, all bets were off. I finally wrote out a contract that covered all of this, in lieu of $500.00 room and board, but they both told me that I was out of line... My own son said to me "Dad, that's pretty messed up, charging her 500.00 when she doesn't have it". And I told him, it says right there, that she does not have to pay a penny if she just takes care of the chores she had already agreed to do, a max of 10 hours a week.

K and I have had these problems for years, and V's response has always been "if she goes, I go". I finally snapped, and said fine, go, and take her with you.

And it has come to that day. Tomorrow V, K and Z are driving to South Carolina in the hopes of V finding a stable teaching job there, and K finding somewhere to work. Z will fly back in a month and spend the summer with me. In the mean time, I am left with a huge mess and 4 dogs to take care of by myself.

I don't want V to leave. It hurts deeply in my heart. It is soul wrenching that she has this other man back there that says he will take care of her, and my 15 years of service is just... gone? I don't see any other way of getting K out of my house though, and she has damaged me greatly with her selfish nasty attitude. And at this point I feel like I can never be her friend until she gets off her ass and does something. and some day I hope I can forget the pain that K has caused me. 17 years I have known her, nurtured her, fed her, clothed her, bathed her. and I really do feel betrayed.

I know I am not easy to live with, but I am pretty easy to get along with if I am not forced into the role of having to do everything myself to make sure there is food on the table at night. Especially when there are two able-bodied adults in the house with nothing to do but surf the web and watch TV.

As for V, I hope she finds what she is looking for, something I cannot provide. Our relationship has been badly damaged over the years by my and her actions. I did stupid things, and got caught out. I spent the last 5 years trying to make up for it, but the trust is gone. She treats me poorly and would not even listen to the advice of the counselor we saw for two years. I am forever bad and a liar, and sneaky in her eyes, and I cannot fix that. It hurts that she refuses to listen to any advice I might have. It hurts that she thinks I am always doing something bad, when I have been doing right by her. It hurts that she went to other men's arms for comfort when I was right there. I had to cut myself off from my own emotions just to survive these last months, knowing she was leaving, but still in the same bed every night.

And I think I need to grieve.

Please, if you know the other parties involved in this, do not share with them. It will only hurt them. I just needed to vent a little here, where they do not frequent.